I’m Samora Suber (SaSu), Founder of SamoraLife, and I want to share a bit more about my self-love journey…
SamoraLife birthed out of my own difficult journey of learning how to love myself more fully. As a young girl, I was highly aware that I was deeply and spiritually loved. My mother and grandmother instilled that heavily in me. Mom would call me her star, tell me how special I was and, every day, she would remind me of how much she loves me (even now). I remember feeling like I was whole, unstoppable, and can do anything. I knew who I was and loved it!
But throughout the years, I lost that knowing.
At 14, I got into a terrible car accident… almost losing my life. I had to get surgery that had me in recovery for months. My single mother stopped working during that time to take care of me and became very stressed. My father lived far away so she had to carry the weight of this accident on her own. She began to cope with her ill youngest daughter and the loss of funds by drinking heavily. Times became hard on us all and, as a result, our love became tainted.
After a while of this, my mom was different. She became harder and more depressed; Meanwhile, I finally recovered but didn’t feel like myself anymore. The doctors cut my stomach open, leaving a huge scar, an inability to eat properly and limited motor skills. I began doubting myself, regretting the incident- thinking it was somehow my fault. I was suffering from low self-esteem and it became difficult to look at myself in the mirror. I had a deep gash on my forehead (that can still be seen at times) and my teeth shifted badly (which was and still is a vanity obsession of mine). So between not getting the high level of affection from my mother and becoming more negative about my condition, I began to lose my self-love.
Over time, I got addicted to seeking “love” in everything else but myself: people, work, alcohol, drugs, boys, travel (still addicted), sex, and even religion. Eventually, I realized that the “love” I was receiving from these avenues were temporary and actually leading me further from the pure love that I once knew.
Rock bottom was years later (I was 28, living in NYC) when I was uncertain about my purpose, financially stressed, feeling unfulfilled at work, busying myself with unsuccessful projects and looking for a man to validate me in an unloving relationship.
The man I was dating at the time was manipulative, controlling, and mentally abusive. One night, we had a heated argument. I said something that set him off and he mashed my face forcefully, causing me to fall to the floor. It was an instant “wake-up” call. I had let my self-worth get so low that I attracted this idiot into my life to treat me with the same disrespect that I was unconsciously giving to myself.
I left that relationship immediately and went on a spiritual fast. I also knew that I needed support, something I felt I lacked since 14. So I sought out a life coach and eventually got counseling, along with other mental support services to help me navigate all of my broken layers.
With daily practices, such as meditation, yoga, prayer, journaling and spending quality time with myself, I began to listen and love myself again and this time with a greater understanding of how powerful love truly is. I found God’s love, within me, and felt unconditionally loved. I was able to share this love with friends and family, and for the first time in years, I was at peace with myself.
It was (and is) a long, turbulent journey but I gained clarity, commitment, and courage. Moving to LA and building SamoraLife- an expression of the healing journey that changed my life- in hopes that I can share what I’ve learned along the way.
Now, YOUR TURN! Share your journey with me and let me knowhow I can help…
You are always loved,